Seriously, it’s May, how did that happen? I’ve been on maternity leave for about 16 weeks and head back to work next week. I can’t believe how fast it went, yet I can’t believe how long I’ve been off. Time is such a funny thing.
I had Elizabeth at 36 weeks, so my maternity leave started ahead of when I had anticipated it would. I also had a c-section because she was breech, something else I didn’t plan on. In addition to that I fractured my sacrum and was on bed rest for almost 8 weeks after she was born. I really didn’t plan on that.
Side note about my fractured sacrum. First of all I had no idea what a sacrum was and that I could actually fracture it. I won’t bore you with the details here, but it’s a rare complication that usually happens with vaginal births. Given I had a c-section it’s been a bit of mystery on how and when mine got fractured. But given how it looked in the MRI the doctors think it happened when I was pregnant due to weight gain.
The fracture really threw a wrench in my plans for maternity leave. I literally had to sit in bed while Mike did everything and brought me Elizabeth throughout the day. I couldn’t walk with her or even shift my body when holding her. It was a lot to take in for me and Mike. So maternity leave in its fullest didn’t start until mine was half over.
Now that my leave is coming to end I do have some advice for those of you just starting on maternity leave. Knowing these 6 lessons ahead of time will help you ease into your life and savor every moment you can.
Settle In
Life has literally changed overnight. You went to the hospital and came home with a tiny human! That takes time to adjust to and sink in. Take your time, get settled into a new life with your baby, don’t rush through any of it. There will be a feeling to jump right back into your old routine, but you shouldn’t. You will need to establish a new routine.
Do what feels right to you, but don’t over complicate it. For me, I wanted to have a good schedule. Having a schedule is comforting to me and provides a sense of normalcy while I get adjusted. My schedule isn’t strict and it operates around the baby, but nonetheless my goal is to get out of the bedroom by 9am every morning.
I’m a list person so being able to figure out a good system for tracking feedings, wet diapers and sleep was extremely important to me. There are tons of apps out there to do all this for you, but I went with a good old fashioned spreadsheet. Nothing screams organization than a full spreadsheet record of every ounce your baby has eaten.
Accept Help
People will want to help you. Your husband, your parents, your friends…say yes every time. This was a hard one for me. I didn’t want to inconvenience anyone and I wanted to do it all myself. Guess what? You can’t, it’s impossible.
You don’t have to have people do everything for you, but if they ask, have an idea of what they can help with. If it’s making meals or cleaning your house, then say it. People who ask to help wouldn’t be asking if they didn’t want to help. No one who asks to help is doing it hoping you say no, trust me.
Relax and Nap
When you are pregnant you will hear “sleep when the baby sleeps” and if you are like me you will think “yeah right.” As a newborn, your baby will sleep a lot, so why not take advantage of that? You don’t have to sleep every time they sleep, but grabbing an hour nap will work.
The concept of this was hard for me. I felt like I was giving in or being lazy. There is so much I could do when the baby is sleeping. Take it from me, get over that ASAP. An hour nap a day won’t turn you into a lazy person. Taking a nap will refresh you and get you caught up on sleep. It will take you twice as long to accomplish something if you are tired, so make sure you are rested. Make the most of your time and nap!
Take the Word ‘Leave’ Seriously
If you work full time you should truly be on leave. Don’t worry about checking emails or checking in with people at work. As hard as this sounds, the show will go on without you at work and it will be fine. Yes, everyone at work will miss you and have a countdown going on for your arrival, but the place won’t burn down without you.
Keep in touch with your work friends about non-work things. They will be anxious to see pictures of your baby. If you must ask a question about something work related you can, but don’t make it your focus. I truly was on leave and my amazing co-workers respected that. I did love hearing that people wanted to call and ask me questions, but my group wouldn’t let them bother me. They are the best!
Get Out of the House
Leaving the house for the first time (alone or with the baby) is hard and scary, but you have to do it. The longer you wait to do it the harder it will be. I love Mike, he encouraged me leave the house alone in the first few weeks. So I took him up on it and it was great. I went to get my nails done and it felt amazing!
Leaving the house alone with the baby took me longer though. My circumstances were the best. It was a polar vortext in Chicago and I was on bed rest for a fractured sacrum, so leaving the house wasn’t really an option. When I finally went out with Elizabeth and her gear it was great. I felt a huge sense of accomplishment. I may have only walked three blocks to a Starbucks, but I was rocking mom life! It’s the little successes that mean the most!
Live in the Moment
This is the best piece of advice I can offer. Just live in the moment, period. You don’t need a picture of everything, just take a mental picture of it. Enjoy every stage of your baby. Your baby will never be this small ever again, literally. They grow so fast so hold your baby, kiss her, snuggle her and let her sleep in your arms for hours.
Everything else in life will eventually get done. Enjoy every second of your maternity leave and spend every moment you can with your baby. You will never have time like this with her ever again.
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